We Survived!

My two boys headed into their school for Open House

Lane visiting his classroom for the first time

posing for pictures

Enjoyed the booknook the most

Loved reading the No! David book

Boys looking at bunnies in the yard

I just can not believe this kid is a 2nd grader!

And if I must say....a CUTE 2nd grader at that

Posing in front of the school bus. Per their mama's request

I adore this picture!

first day of school 2015

hugs for his little brother

bunny ears

Lane always gives me dandelions and this one was extra special

waiting on the bus

hugs for his dog

And.....they're off (without incident)

seemed excited and ready to roll

Grant was so sweet with Lane- made sure to hold his hand and guide him onto the bus

after returning home- Day 1 (he couldn't have gotten off that bus any faster-no posing for pictures he was DONE)

balloons and a goodie bag was waiting for him when he returned home

Day 2 -trying to lock himself in the door so he would miss the bus and not have to go to school

This is him trying to dart away when he heard the bus pull up

I am so thankful to Aiden and Grant for comforting Lane and helping him through his first week of school

I did everything I thought possible to make sure I prepared Lane for his first day of Pre-K. Read books, had discussions, make a countdown chain, excitedly bought school supplies and new school shoes.   Beings that he has never had to deal with separation from me before now I knew and anticipated it to be difficult for us both. Has mentioned,  we created a paper chain to count down the days until his first day of school which worked incredibly well until the night before school started. He simply refused to pull off the last link. He said, "no, I don't want to pull that one off because if I do that then I have to go to school tomorrow and I don't want to -I am not going to go." I knew then we may have more of a separation problem than I had anticipated. He woke the next day somewhat excited and ready to go. He mentioned a few times that he was scared and his tummy hurt but honestly the morning went really well. Jason stayed home long enough to watch the boys get on the bus. He held hands with Grant and climbed right up the steps to the big bus and off he went. The entire morning I spent worried about what he was doing, what he was thinking, if he was scared or feeling lost. I went to town to gather some things to put into his goodie bag I told him I would have waiting for him when he returned home. At a bit after 11 I went outside and sat on the porch swing with my camera in hand. I was ready to capture his sweet little "I am so proud of myself" smile but when the bus pulled up at the edge of the sidewalk and I saw his face I knew I wasn't going to get any smile what-so-ever. I asked him how he liked school and he didn't say a word. Mason informed me that Lane had cried while at school. A few moments later I checked my phone to see that his teacher, Miss Elisha had left me a message to inform me that Lane had a tough first day and cried at the beginning and the end of the day. She told me that she thinks he was just full of nerves and she thinks he will love it once he gets comfortable. I told myself that tomorrow would be better (knowing full well that it would likely not be) and boy was it NOT! The next morning he started in right away at 6:30am. "Mom, I don't want to go to school." "My tummy hurts, I am sick, you won't send me to school if I am sick." "Mommy, please can I just stay here with you? I love you. Don't you love me?" (All while holding my face in his sweet little hands) "Mom, I am just not ready for school. I am not old enough yet" "Mom, please!" "Fine, I'm going to lock myself inside then I will miss the bus and won't have to go to school." Ugh! It was awful I tell ya, just awful. Seriously the most heartbreak and gut wrenching thing I have had to experience as a mother in a long time if not ever! It was breaking my heart. I knew he had to go and I couldn't give into his pleas not even a little bit or I'd have an even bigger mess to deal with. But I also wanted to rescue him and save him from his fears and insecurities. Up until now I have always been that person to him- someone who "saves the day" and makes things better for him. Someone who has provided him with protection and security and now I am sending this sweet little (horribly frightened) little boy off into the great big world to fend for himself. Sure, I know he is in great hands with his teachers at school and yes, I know millions of mamas across the country are doing the same with their little babies on the first day of school but it's just so heartbreaking to see his little tears in his eyes and the look of total fear knowing you can do little to repair it. I, of course encouraged him and told him that everyone is nervous at first but after a while his tummy won't hurt anymore and he will get comfortable there- make new friends- make new fun and ultimately love school. I tried to remind him of all the fun toys and books we saw in his classroom at open house. I reminded him that he had his big brother there with him on the ride to school and Mason would be a friend to him in the classroom. I told him how proud I was of him and how much I truly love him and explained to him that not going to school is not and will not be an option. I praised him for being brave and being such a "big boy" but nothing seemed to ease his worries or calm him. The time came that morning for him to get on the bus I was fully expecting him to come running back to me clinging to my leg but he surprised me and took Grant and Aiden's hand and  reluctantly got on the bus. I was a mess after he left-I broke down and had a good cry fest myself. I of course flooded God with prayers and tried to keep occupied so I wouldn't think about him there at school crying his eyes out. It was useless though- ALL I COULD THINK ABOUT WAS HIM! I was heartbroken and worried. I kept trying to tell myself that this couldn't last forever, it's just a transition period, in the grand scheme of life this is not that serious and it will all be over soon but I had an inkling in the back of my mind "what if it's not a phase what if this lasts months?" I couldn't do it. I was two days in and I was exhausted, frustrated, and sooooo over it. The next day was the same thing pleading to not have to go, getting on the bus only to cry at school again (I know because his teacher kept me posted) but at last it was FRIDAY and he didn't ask me once to stay home -he didn't act reluctant to get on the bus and when he returned from school I got a note from his teacher that he hadn't cried. We had done it! We had lived through the first week of PRE-K!